Issues and contentions:
1. Men typically are asked to change things that are wired to their image.
This can be anything from pastors telling men to "be nice... be a Christian" to "Jesus wouldn't own a gun" or "Jesus wouldn't insult anyone because he was... (wait for it) NIIIIIIICE." Men thrive on challenge... (And by challenge, I don't mean a challenge, something that rewires the programming.) The problem is, we want a bunch of nice guys. Men weren't put here to not cause trouble despite what Christianity Today might have to say about men not being called to imitate our Father's wild side. (Which is the biggest load of horse manure I've heard.) Christ wasn't this meek and mild guy who came to shake hands, kiss babies, smile that winning smile of a Tony Robbins and talk about a God who wanted to say, "Let's make a Deal" or "God is a nice grandfather who wants to be friends."
No, Jesus was more like a General Patton who came and said, "This is the deal. I am the way, the truth, the life... no man comes to the Father but by me. Take it or leave it." He tossed temple tables and challenged complacency.
When was the last time you heard a sermon that called men to be dangerous? Nope. We're called to be kinder, gentler folk. Just be nice to everyone. Don't rock the boat. Don't step out on the water, because, you know... that would offend someone.
Moving on from that dead horse...
2. Men are expected to check his masculinity at the door of the church.
Why? Because generally we get advised by pastors to "imagine yourselves kissing Jesus." (Was advised this once by a Pastor. Not at the current church, but at a different church)
All the women might be thinking "That sounds nice" while the men are probably trying not to throw up. It's a little like telling women "Imagine yourself kissing the woman next to you..." It gets worse. We're expected to sing music that isn't in our range. We're expected to sing stuff like "Jesus I am so in love with you." Huh? I'm sorry I really struggle with the idea of Christ as our lover. And I understand, not every man does. But I don't think I'm holding Christ at arms length by saying I'm not sure I can sing that. I respect Him as King, I have no problem putting Christ in his proper place on the throne. (And let's be honest, we don't have a problem with that idea, but we don't always living this out.) But I think that the "L" word has been so loosely used and has been assigned connotations that most men are going to run into the same issue. There are exceptions and I've met a few. That's completely okay. Perhaps they are further along with their spiritual walk than I. But I'm just not comfortable with that idea.
And we're encouraged to think of ourselves as the bride individually to Christ. (I don't dispute us collectively being God's bride, but individually?) That's an idea that guys are going to struggle with. And again, some of us aren't there.
Meanwhile, where are the songs that discuss Christ's masculinity, his power, his Manhood? I have to go back to the late eighties to early nineties to find that kind of music.
3. Men are expected to treat church like school.
30 minute monologues aren't friendly to the male mind. Neither are repetitive choruses. We don't have the attention span or patience (as the case may be) to deal with it. This is something I'll deal with in the next post from a practical standpoint.
4. Men's ministry is essentially women's ministry lite.
When was the last time you heard some guy say, "Gee Bob... why don't we get together and share our feelings." No? You haven't heard that either? Hmmm... well how about this one: Want to reach men? "Hey Bob, we're heading out to wakeboard. Wanna come?"
I'd rather not harp too much on this. Guys do sit around and talk. But not all of us do. Some of us function better by doing something while we talk. (Gaming, tabletop, etc)
If we're happy with the way things are.. then don't change anything. But if we don't the church will continue to lose men, which in turn will cause the next generation to be absent as well.
If on the other hand you want to see men not only in church, but also on fire then I believe wholesale changes are in order.
1. Stop asking men to be women and start asking them to be men.
This means men should not be asked to sing of the love of God forever... and ever... and ever. Ask him to declare God's glory, his strength, his righteousness; his goodness. And let worship come from there. Furthermore, if you want to show a man God, take him out to the wild, and then watch what happens. That's where he prepares for the other six days of the week. And it's wise to let him prepare properly. Give him every opportunity to soak up the word, preferrably through physical demonstrations, visual aids.
2. Stop asking men to be nice... demand that they prepare for war.
And while we're on the subject, let's not ask for nicer men. Let's ask for more dangerous men. Nicer men get chewed up and spit out. Dangerous men kick rear and take names. It's that simple. War isn't for wimps. War is the trial by fire where we find out what the heck you're made of. It is where you put into practice what you've learned in the training grounds. Church is the training grounds and it's high time that the institutional church understood this.
3. Stop asking men for the mundane and start asking men for their faith.
I suppose there is a little part of me that every time a pastor starts expositioning text that wonders why the pastor is trying to soften the blows of what Christ is calling us to. For example, the most common example, in Luke, there's a passage that essentially says, Any man who loves his wife, his children, his mother, his father more than me is not fit for the kingdom of heaven. This is usually followed by "Now Jesus didn't mean that we should not love our wives." Really? Can we stop philosophising the text? Did Jesus mean what he said? If so, then why are we trying to make excuses? Why are we trying to lower the bar? Stop. Now. I think most of us are intelligent to figure out that Jesus is not endorsing spousal abuse or neglect.
Let's face it though, Jesus always has a table to flip, be it a table to an idol that we've set up and worship in place of him or maybe, it's a radical call. Something that doesn't quite make sense, yet is demanded by God. For example, Christ himself makes the challenge that any man who comes to God with conditions is not fit for the kingdom. No conditions. For some this may mean a potential love interest to forgo, maybe a job, maybe college, maybe it's as simple as getting your priorities straight. Maybe it's something that needs to change in terms of how we're spending our time or something that's in the way of the whole hearted pursuit of God. God's command is if you want to be in my Kingdom, I have to be the King. Period. So why is it that American Christianity insists on programs, buildings, and other stuff that gets in the way?
Why is it that when the scripture calls us to something that seems impossible, we lower the bar into the mundane? The call is high. That's the entire point. If it was so easy we could do it, why would we need a savior
4. Stop asking men to repair the church, and start asking them to build the kingdom.
Repairing the church is necessary and upkeep is required, but sometimes I feel as though we are asked too often to give our money but see no return on the investment. Granted, sometimes we can't always see it, but sometimes I have to ask why we feel it necessary to build a building that costs x millions of dollars instead of using that money to build the kingdom through ministry outside the walls. Space issues, I get. But why so much coin? How does this fix problems in the community? How does this show the love of Christ? What kind of effect does this have in building the kingdom? I'm not saying church building or repair is evil. Men need a cause, not a burden. And yes, again I agree we need to be servants and stewards. I simply question the gaudiness with which we're doing it.
I'll be frank... I don't think God gives a care how much you put in an offering place. Whether it's five cents or five million... Yes, that may have something to do with your spiritual life. That's between you and God. But maybe, God is trying to also get some of us off of our blessed assurance and doing something with our lives. And maybe that means we skip Church on Sunday to take a few other believers and you go do something in terms of Kingdom building and then share a meal afterward. That's not giving up meeting together. That's what Kingdom building is about.
I've often wondered what would happen in churches if we put as a membership requirement that as a member of this church, we will be about the Greater Things that Christ has called us to. We will do
5. Stop asking men to settle for the law, ask them to start doing the greater things of Jesus Christ.
Consider the marks of a transformed life in the Early church. They spoke in tongues, they preached sermons, they ministered to their world, they healed the sick, they raised the dead. And when they were tossed out of the city, they walked back in and continue to proclaim the gospel.
And what do we settle for here in the American church? Gee, let's pray. Oh, and let's have a blanket sermon on Pornography and how it's wrong, and you're a heathen and you need to change. Are you reading your Bible everyday? Are you married? Are you going to a Christian college, listening to Christian Music and sitting in our four walled thing called a church every week.
Anyone see a problem here?
So, how do we deal with this practically? Simply injecting these ideas into main service won't help. That's moving deck chairs around on the Titanic. What needs to happen is we need to look at the concept of church as a whole, a blend of both institution and of organics. And maybe... we need a little bit of electronics to tie this whole thing together. And maybe, just maybe for our institutional branches... we need to dump this thing called "Luther's Mass" that we've had for a few hundred years where a lot of hot air is the high point of the "worship" service. More on that next time.